Tuesday, 02 June 2009

• All I wanted was a guy friend! Part 1

  I'm new in town, and new on campus in Tampa, i.e. I don't know anybody! I have one friend who ironically moved down here a month before I did. She's like the older sister I never had and she stays right around the corner from me! Then, there's a friend of a friend who stays in my same complex. We don't really mesh well so we don't keep in contact as much as our mutual friends would like. And then there's one of my roommates, who is slowly turning into an older sister (a junky sis... but a sis none-the-less).
  
  Okay, so like I said, I know 3 people in the whole city. I told myself I would capitalize on any rare meet-ups that I happen to make while out and about. So, last week, I'm walking to my chemistry class. Usually, I have my headphones on and could care less about anybody or anything happening around me. But I didn't have my mp3 player and was a little sensitive to my environment (mom would be proud). I hear somebody's ringtone go off behind me --- it caught my attention because it was loud and ghetto (just what I love to hear at 11 in the am). I turn around and notice the bearer of the ringtone is some guy walking a few steps behind me.
  
  I just quickly glanced and turned back around. Soon enough, this guy is walking step-in-step with me. Great. He small-talks with me for a few minutes and then the question pops off: "Can I get your number?" I'm debating in my mind whether I should shut this down immediately. He's okay-looking, he has golds on his bottom teeth, is barely taller than me, is 2 years younger than me, and has the weirdest baby dreads I've ever seen. In my definition, he's a straight "hoodie": a term I use for black folk who love and embrace a) a hood mentality b) a hood lifestyle or c) a hood appearance. Hood is not a defamatory statement, but rather a realistic statement. It just is what it is, folks.
  
  So, I either shut this down, or as my girls tell me "Be more open; stop judging people before you get to know them." And the idea of having at least one guy friend in Tampa makes me happy. There are so many "hoodies" from my hometown who are my boys! The realest (is that a word?) dudes you'll ever meet.
  
  So, I figure, at the worst, dude could at least be my guy friend and I figure that because he didn't approach me with anything sexual or flirtatious, he's thinking the same thing about me.
  
  He starts off as a homeboy. He doesn't call me, he texts me:
  
  "Wats up"
  
  Little did I know, this is how all of his texts start. All of my hoodie homeboys back home are full of personality and fun to be around! They're original and most def not boring. So, the fact that he has the same boring greeting, it's not looking too good for this dude... let's call him Jay.
  
  So, I told him we could meet up one day after my class on campus. But the class ended way earlier, and I didn't want to hang around on campus so I bounced and went home.
  
  He texted me. I didn't respond.
  
  He texted the next day. "Wats up". No response.
  
  So, finally, Saturday, I gave in and texted him. I told him I was chillin' and he asked if he could join me. I was still getting the friend vibe from him, so I waited till I got home, which was about 6 pm.
  
  He came, we chilled, watched TV. I was really tired and wanted to fall asleep, but I didn't know how much of a hoodie he was. If his hood mentality was to rob broke college students while they were vulnerable, this wasn't the best time. So I stayed awake, and then the NBA playoffs came on. Of course, he stayed. He eventually found himself laying on my bed.
  
  I have a bad history with guys on my bed. I have a strictly platonic friendship with this guy from my hometown. He came to visit me in Gainesville and sat on my bed. It took two wash cycles to get his body odor out of my sheets. The only other dude that's ever been on my comforters happened to have a body odor as well. It took a few days and sprays of Lysol for the scent to be gone (I think he used jerry-curl juice in his hair).
  
  This dude was no different. I kept trying to pin point the smell. It wasn't really bonified funk. It was a blend of un-pleasantries and hair products. He was really cold (I keep the AC pretty high) so he kept snuggling up in my comforters which really annoyed me.
  
  The fact that he stayed for the whole game annoyed me. I don't like people in my space for that long!
  
  The game was in the last quarter, and I could see the home team (Orlando Magic) was about to call it a night for the Cav's, so me and Jay started talking. He told me he was Haitian and since I'm an honorary Haitian (don't ask) I told him I know how to konpa (traditional Haitian dance). He busts out laughing, says he doesn't believe me and wants me to prove it. Um, no. He gets on youtube, finds some Haitian song and "wants to see what I got." Negro, this was your idea and you're Haitian! LOL You can konpa solo! So he did for a little bit and kept grabbing my hands to dance. So first we danced facing each other, and then a few spin moves later, he had me in the "grinding" position. Unlike American dancing, you don't have to grind when you're doing konpa from behind. The guy can suggest it by pulling on your hips or you can just do the dang thing yourself. Or you can just continue konpa'ing like you're facing the dude (which is what I did). After a few awkward seconds of being in this "grinding" position, his hard breathing on my neck, and the faint smell of S-curl juice, I turned myself back around to face him. This is a big NO in Haitian and Spanish dances... the guy always leads. But, it's my house, so I can do whatever I want. LOL Around we go... As I was pulling away, he tried to kiss me,
  
  to be continued...
  don't you hate that? lol
  

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